I always love it when two long time close friends get together romantically. In the past year, I've had two such friends who decided to get together after 10 years of close friendship. Basically, he's been in love with her for the entire duration of the friendship. When most of friends finally found out about it, they started asking questions about lifelong commitments, such as buying a house, getting married, who is moving to where. I was very surprised to hear them ask about it, even more surprised to even hear from said couple certain plans they might have in place about it.
My first thought was, "What? They haven't even been together for a year. And they are talking about taking such big serious steps." I'll be the first one to admit, I do have a fear of commitment. Despite being friends for 10 years, being in a RELATIONSHIP is most definitely different than being in a friendship.
1. In a relationship for less than a year.
2. In a long distance relationship
3. Honeymoon phase not yet over
4. Pressure to commit
Let me elaborate, in Singapore, couples who are ready to commit and get married can apply for a government flat. However, new flats are cheaper than resale and there is a subsidy couples can apply for, only for new flats. New flats has to be built first which generally takes about 3 to 4 years. Once the couple has gotten the papers and the keys to the flat, they have another 6 months to register their marriage. But it is the waiting period for the flat to be built that has caused a trend in making couples commit before they can even consider why they are getting married.
A lot of people nowadays are already getting married because they think they ought to, after a certain number of years together. Added on the constant pressure that comes with Asian cultures (worried parents and busybody relatives will always keep asking when the younger generation are getting married and when they are, when will they have kids), and now the mentality to have a house of their own when they are married, it makes people jump the gun.
Maybe people will say that I'm thinking too much or it's my fear of commitment which is making me paranoid. But think about it, if you were the one in a relationship which is, let's say, around 2 years, you probably wouldn't even be thinking about such big steps to commitment. A lot of people have forgotten how their relationship started. Feelings, emotions, hormones even. But of course these are just the foundation and it has to be reinforced with other things. How many people out there actually think about these anymore.
I really wish that, when it comes to me, I don't think or act like I mentioned above. How about you?
Ciaos~
